Banned From Tesco's !!!!!

I’m banned from Tesco's – BUT didn't like shopping there anyway.... Yesterday I was at my local Tesco's buying a large bag of  Winalot dog food for my loyal pet, and was in the checkout  queue, when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.   What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told  her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Winalot  Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in  hospital last time, but I'd lost 2 stone before I woke up in  intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the  way that it works is to load your pockets with Winalot  nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel  hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works  well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in  queue was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart  attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Tesco's. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends......  it will be their laugh for the day. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.