"The Best Pubs Are Irish"

As guid as this bar is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back hame. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called Archie McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink." 

 

"Well now, Angus," said the Englishman, "at my local in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you've bought the first two." 

 

"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Irishman, "back home in my favourite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, the barman'll buy you a drink, then another, in fact he'll buy ya all the drinks you like. Then, when you've had enough drinks, the landlord'll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, and it's all on the house!" 

 

The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims. But the Irishman swore every word was true.  
"Did this actually happen to you?" they asked him.

 

"Well not meself, personally, no," admitted the Irishman, "but it did happen to me sister quite a few times."